5 things I learned last week (12.21.2020)
It was an awesome week, filled with a lot of life lessons that I’m excited to share. This was, however, a difficult week in terms of finalizing the list — I learned so much this week, and my journal was on fire with all kinds of thoughts, ideas, and visions. So I’m stoked to share some of these things with you!
Here are the 5 things I learned last week:
1.Love should not hurt, and if it does, it’s not love.#andneverwillbe💯
I think we sometimes confuse love with drama, pain, and confusion. Love is none of those things, and frankly, never can be. Love is patient. Love is kind. Love is unselfish. Love is not self-absorbed or self-serving. Anytime you begin to confuse love with pain you are operating in dysfunction, and dysfunction is a danger zone for love. Doesn’t matter if it’s love in a relationship, love for friends, or even self-love, it should never hurt. Ever. Love is not painful, and when it’s done right by people who put the interests of others above their own, love is easy and drama free.
2.Dysfunction is expecting from others what you don’t even offer yourself.#egotoo😕
I don’t think many people truly understand the power of selfishness. The idea and belief that everything evolves around you is not only self-serving, it’s also dysfunctional. Whether in relationships, friendships, with colleagues on your job, regardless of the setting — we all benefit from our connections by how we choose to give and take. One of the beautiful aspects of connections that work is the notion that we should never expect from others what we ourselves do not offer. If “doing unto others” what you would like done to you is ultimately the goal for everyone, then how we receive from others should follow the same path. You should receive from others based on what they receive from you. Never position yourself, whether purposefully or subconsciously, to expect to receive anything from anyone that you are not offering yourself. Not only is this dysfunctional, it’s rude.
3.Life is way too short not to be happy.#chooseit😁
I wrote about this in a post last week, but it was worthy of repeating. When we consider all of the tragic things happening around all of us, I think it’s safe to say that if we’re breathing we are blessed. This does not make life perfect, nor does it imply such — but what it does say is that we understand just how easily life, like a vapor, can vanish away from us. If you are going to live a life that has an expiration date that no one knows, why not live these fleeting moments happy? Why not live these unpredictable moments pursuing the careers, friendships, relationships, goals, or even dreams that make you happy? The greatest tragedy in life is not death. Death is something that we all have to experience at some point, so this is a reality of life. The greatest tragedy in life is the idea that any of us could be wasting our lives not pursuing true happiness. Sure, funerals are sad, but death becomes even more sad if the time you spend breathing does not also include living a life that makes you happy!
4.Most people in your life fall into 1 of 3 categories: lesson, blessing, or mistake.#theyallmatter👌🏽
This is not a negative statement at all. Instead, this is a statement that should help us all understand the roles that everyone plays in our lives. Anyone you meet, anyone you engage with on any level, serves a unique purpose. Often, this purpose is not revealed through first impressions. More often than not, the purpose or role that people play in our lives is typically revealed in time. Lesson, blessing, or mistake, the purpose that people serve in your life has to be identified through experiences. We cannot appropriate identify the role a person has in our lives without experiencing things with them — the good, the bad, the ugly, or the indifferent, experience helps you to understand who’s in your life and the role they play. The awesome part about this, though, is that people’s roles can change — everything that was a mistake does not have to remain that way. Everything that became a lesson does not have to stay that way. People change, we all change, and this is a great thing because it means that the roles that people play in your life sometimes can change…and this is okay. Give the people in your life some grace, try to understand the role they play in your life, and know that things can and most often do change.
5.Don’t let pride keep you from apologizing when you’re wrong.#thistakesmaturitytoo🤗
Growth and maturity helps you to understand the impact of apologizing to others. The words “I’m sorry” are so powerful especially when they are spoken from a place of sincerity. We all have the ability to positively impact the mood, emotions, thoughts, and feelings of others in a significant way by simply admitting our wrongs, apologizing, and asking for forgiveness. People struggle with apologizing because of ego and pride, two words that reflect a person’s self-serving interests. If you really want to have a meaningful connection with anyone, learn to apologize when you are wrong, and do it often. Nothing is more refreshing and powerful than being the first to apologize…the first to say I’m sorry…the first to say please forgive me. In doing so you not only influence the feelings of others, but you position yourself to be the recipient of grace in the future because it’s so much easier to forgive people who can admit their wrongs.
As you tackle the week that is ahead of you, remember these 5 lessons that helped me on last week. Love should never hurt, and if it does, what you are feeling is not love — step back and evaluate. Dysfunction makes people expect from others what they do not offer themselves, and this is not acceptable. Life is but a vapor and is way too short not to be happy — go after happiness as a priority in your life. Most people fall into 1 of 3 categories in your life — lesson, blessing, or mistake, and all of these categories matter. Finally, never let pride or ego get in the way of apologizing — be okay with apologizing first, and embrace the freedom that comes from admitting wrongs.
Apply these things to your life, and I promise, you will be better today than you were yesterday!
